weird

So, I was noticing today that my pinky toe STILL hurts from when I fell last July and bruised it really bad.  That can't be normal. Maybe there's nerve damage or something?  AND my ear hasn't been the same since David used me as a guinea pig testing his doctor toys.  It itches, and feels weird and yesterday it was bleeding at little.  BUT, I got carded for a beer yesterday, major ego booster. :)  Who cares about a bum toe and ear after that?

True Blood

I'm trying this True Blood thing out, honestly, because everyone is talking about it.  Tonight is the big premiere.  So far, I don't get it.

good day

Today was such a good day.  Seriously. Everything I expected to happen, happened. Some things I didn't expect to happen, happened, and they were GOOD.  I laughed a genuine, real laugh.  I made some good decisions today, that I am excited about.  This is a good start.

What do I like? update

Things I like

1. Kisses from ben
2. Listening and watching ben talk
3. Sitting on a bench (or a hammock) watching the world go by, feeling the breeze on my skin.
4. Bananas foster
5. baking
6. The smell of new books and school supplies.
7. The smell of rain  6/24/2011
8.  My bed is awesome  6/30/2011



Things I don't like

1. Getting into a really long line and then no one gets behind me before I get to the front. It feels like if I would've gotten in line a couple minutes later, I wouldn't have had to wait in line.
2. Sitting and using the toilet only to look over and discover that the roll of toilet paper is empty.
3. Doing dishes.
4. Cleaning the toilet
5. melons, watermelons, cantelope, anything like that
6. forgetting where I parked my car  6/24/2011
7. this ever present burning feeling in my chest 6/25/2011

Woke up

I woke up this morning to Ben's smiling face.  He said "Mommy, I had a dream, I was dreaming, about a butterfly, and it landed on my finger."  That's a good start to the day.

What do I like?

Things I like
1. Kisses from ben
2. Listening and watching ben talk
3. Sitting on a bench (or a hammock) watching the world go by, feeling the breeze on my skin.
4. Bananas foster
5. baking
6. The smell of new books and school supplies.


Things I don't like
1. Getting into a really long line and then no one gets behind me before I get to the front. It feels like if I would've gotten in line a couple minutes later, I wouldn't have had to wait in line.
2. Sitting and using the toilet only to look over and discover that the roll of toilet paper is empty.
3. Doing dishes.
4. Cleaning the toilet
5. melons, watermelons, cantelope, anything like that
6.


I'll keep adding as I think of things.

trip

I am concocting a trip in my mind.  I want to go someplace where I will see something that I have never seen before.  I want to go someplace that I will learn something.  I want to go someplace that will make a lasting impression.  I want to go someplace that I will be a really special, unique experience.  Maybe this will give me some ideas:
http://adventure.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/trips/ultimate-adventure-bucket-list/

sleep/crazy correlation

The longer I stay up, the more crazy I get.  FOR SURE.  There's is a definite correlation.  And I am exhausted.  Like crazy exhausted.  I slept essentially 12 hours last night, and I was really energized and good for about 2 hours, and then I hit a wall.  I was yawning, and moving really slow the rest of the say.  And I can't open  the damn safe at work even on a good day, but when I am tired, forget it.  That safe is the bane of my existence.  anyway, I am up thinking about where I'd like to travel to.  I think definitely Italy, Japan, India, Germany, Austria, New Zealand and Australia.  In the U.S. I really want to go to California, and Hawaii, and Vegas.  Where to start?  I'll start saving up now....   Ok, I HAVE to go to sleep, my mind is going nuts.

excited

ok, I am a geek.  and I was a LOST fanatic.  I am soooooo excited for this show:

Um, ouch.

I went to the gym 2 days ago and worked out my legs.  And today, they HURT.  Like seriously.  I think I overdid the inner thigh thingamajigger, because I can't walk normal.  I feel like I am walking bowlegged or something.  I keep wondering if anyone can tell and if they are thinking, "What is wrong with that girl?  She walks really funny." 
oh, and I have decided that meat is definitely the best cure for a hangover. 

today

Today, I feel mostly ok.  I've been thinking ALOT about what the point of life is.  I wonder if its individual or pluralistic.  The stuff I've been reading by the Dalai Lama talks about altruistic intention, and bringing compassion to others.  I wonder if the purpose of life can be found in what we do for others, the mark we make on this world, on our family and friends, on strangers, our legacy, OR is the purpose of life individual, to better ourselves, our minds. 

Patience

I used to think I was smart, I don't know anymore.  I feel alone.  I feel helpless.  I feel scared.  I hate DRAMA and it feel like my life is filled with it right now.  I know I am a ball of emotion, with waves and crests.  I just want to be happy.  I'm patient and impatient all at once.  Sometimes I say crazy things, like I feel my life is getting away from me, and then I say some normal things, like, duh, Bianca your life is right now.  I think too much.  For sure.  Its simple and straight forward.  I guess things are going to change.